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My resolution of no resolution!

It is New Year’s Eve to most people. To me, it is just another great eve. What pact could I make tonight that I haven’t made already before? Absolutely none! There was a time in my life when I made sure I celebrated this special night, with some special friends, and had a special time. Back then, my life was not special, so I had to make up a special moment out of that night, and every other occasion for that matter. The general feeling of dissatisfaction reigned my life, even though I had a pretty good life. I had everything anyone wanted. My struggle, back then, was to make sense out of things. I felt like I was swimming against the stream. There was no harmony, nor synergy. There was only temporal, short-lived, and stimulated moments of joy: a great party, a good night out, a fun friend, an awesome weekend. As soon as that event ended, the set back was the usual, lonely, dissatisfied self that I was.

When I embraced my new lifestyle, as a committed Muslim, I made a lot of changes. I stopped seeing people that I loved. I rejected friends that I had a lot of fun with. I even turned down a job offer at one of the best advertising agencies in London. I packed my bags and went home. I had nothing to regret. I went all the way in doing things the way they should be done. I am not a person that can settle for mediocracy. My feeling towards life was swinging in its meaning and I needed to come to term with that. I really needed to give Islam a shot, so I dived in wholeheartedly. Had I not done that, I wouldn’t have discerned what I experienced. I wouldn’t have been able to satisfy my mind with adequate answers. Half-way solutions are no-way solutions in my book.

Now, and after close to 14 years of commitment to my religion, I can easily say that every living moment of my life is special enough, in its good and bad. Every breath I take is an opportunity to get to know my creator and contemplate on His infinite wisdom. Every look I take is a manifestation of His beautiful names. I find peace in everything I do. Peace within me, peace around me, and peace with the world. I am part of the cosmic energy. I am not struggling anymore. Not even with those who have their fingers, or finger, pointed at me. I have nothing but love to give, and I want to be nothing but a source of mercy, just like my prophet was, peace and blessings be upon him.

This is why I do not feel compelled to celebrate New Year’s Eve or Day, even though some Muslims do. There is nothing I want to celebrate tonight that I don’t celebrate every night. There is no resolution I am short of, beside the one I made 14 years ago. I take every breath like it’s my last one.

I am in total peace and submission, just like the literal meaning of the name of my religion “Islam”.

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